Affectionately messaging potential love interests… The guide from hi to meet up.

First Impression – Make it count

Once you’ve made a match, it is time for first contact. Whether you are male or female it shouldn’t matter if you want to make contact go for it. If you are female you should not wait on the man to make first contact. The dating app ‘Bumble’ is a good example of, with them you make a match then the woman make first contact. Puts men at ease and gives women that equality that a lot of women want. Your first means of contact should be more than “Hey, how’s you?”. Be original, be unique be different. Some that I use that you can also use are:• If you could go to any time or place of significance to you….. Where would you go and why?• If you could impress me with a single passion what would your passion be?• You see me in a bar, how do you get my attention?I find questions you come up with yourself can tell you more about a person than asking hi how are you? or something really boring basically “standard chat”.

Keep the convo flowing and getting to know your potential love

While getting to know your potential love interest (this advice works for both men and women) here are a few tip and pieces of information you might find useful to know from my own experience plus the experience of others I have spoke to about the subject – Homework was done on this one.

Don’t one word answer reply people, it makes you seem boring. I mean how would you feel if you were trying to get conversation out of someone you were interested in and they were just like “yeah”, “no”. “okay”…etc. You would get bored, annoyed or think they have nothing to say for themselves, well most of us would. So actually put  bit of effort in and try making, and playing a bit of conversational ping-pong. Trust me it’ll be worth it. #1 you’ll find out before feelings are involved if they are your type or not and, #2 if you can’t be bothered to put the effort in with them you know your answer. Try your best to ask only open ended questions and not closed ended ones. This a business term so you entrepreneur’s will know what I am on about. This is also linked to the last point. A closed ended question is something you can only answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to but an open ended on is a question you have to add more information to the answer. 

For example:

Closed ended – “do you want dinner?”


Open ended – “What do you want for dinner?”

“I would like chicken nuggets and chips please

You are always trying to get the most information you can out of the person you are talking to, they may only tell you what they feel you should know and that’s fine, don’t force information out of them. It’s about their comfort as well but it’s good to have good conversations share yourself and let them share themselves with you. This leads us to our next point.

Stay active in the conversation, there is nothing worse than being in a conversation with someone who is half arsing the whole thing. If you are not interested in that person, own up to it, be honest with them and either be friends or move on. You may think your playing it suave but people are not stupid, and they have probably worked it out a long time ago but feel they can change your mind if you just get to know them better. All you are doing is feeding them fake hope and that is not fair on anyone involved. Basically shit or get off the pot. If it’s a lack of interest in the subject matter again be honest about it. Say something along the lines of “sorry you’re going to have to ease me into the …. chat. Is it okay if we change the topic for a bit I don’t think my brain can cope with more 😂 😂 like I said ease me in lol”. Be funny and cute but flirty with it, make it your own. 

A frozen moment can say more than a moving one

The next step is sending photos whether these are clothed or not is completely up to yourselves but here is a few things to think about before exchanging ANY kind of photograph with your potential love interest. Make sure you BOTH feel comfortable enough to do it, especially with nudes. If there is any pressure from the other that you are not keen on, then back off, if they really like you they will wait until you are ready.
A clothed picture doesn’t really apply here, but with a nude you might want to meet the person first before exchanging nudes. Unfortunately catfishing is a real thing and many people have been caught out by it so be careful with the Internet you never know who you are or are not talking to. I have a friend and her pictures were being used by someone on dating sites to entice men. I know it happens second hand off her experience. Speaking of catfishing, you can back search images now on google. Just Google ‘free image back search’ and use one of the top non-sponsored links. It will at least tell you if the image is available on the Internet or not so you know if it is the original or not. If it is, you know you have a winner and they are the real deal.

Online dating can seem very daunting, what to talk about, catfishing scams, people’s lying, how to get to know someone in a technological world. But all is not lost, let me take the pressure off one area. This is the guide from Hi to Meet Up. This is only a guide and please use your personality to tweak this to your own unique ways of life and what suits you.We live in a day where dating is easier than ever but also harder than ever. Having everything at our fingertips has its pros and cons. But everything in life has pros and cons in life so this is completely normal. Let’s get down to business.

Snapchat is a handy app for sending pictures when you’re a bit camera shy or reluctant to share your photos due to maybe a lack of confidence.

Here’s some reasons why:

• The photo disappears after it has been viewed. Once it has been exited or the timer has ended it exits and you can hold and reply but after that reply the photo is deleted forever unless you saved it or they took a screenshot.

• You have a timer if you want or unlimited so your potential can stare all day or at least till their screen times out and they forgets to thumb it (we all thumb our screens ha ha). Meaning if you want to be one of those overly paranoid people you can set it for 5 seconds meaning that by the time they realise it is a photo of you, the photo is deleted. First time around they just had no idea what it was. 💁🏻

• You get a message if the other person has taken a screenshot of your picture. Means you are totally aware of what is happening to your picture, which gives you peace of mind when sending selfies.• Your selfies can’t be saved apart from a screenshot but like I said you get a message about that so you  can call them out if you like, “Hawl…..You 👉🏻”

Banter can only take you so far

While there are other things you can do before you meet someone. Like going old school and going with phone calls and texts or racing through to the 21st century and video calling them, eventually you are going to have to meet. You’re bound to be excited but also nervous. This is completely normal as is wanting to cancel constantly on the day, and feeling totally apprehensive about the whole thing. This is what we call “negative thinking” coming into play (there will be a blog in future about it). Basically these negative thoughts put doubt into our head about everything good that we do. Making us think bad events or reactions from our actions will happen and what happens bad because we brought that energy with us. Think positively, what’s meant to be will be and good things will happen because you deserve good things.Anyway a few rules. Make sure you meet in a public place, it doesn’t need to be crowded but it does need to have people in it. Nowadays this is not just for the woman’s safety but also the man’s. There’s so much domestic violence in this day and age, or maybe it is just highlighted more now especially against men. One of the newest things coming out is men being frightened into saying yes to pegging. There will be a future blog about this as more people need to talk about it. Make sure you do not go back to theirs on the first date. You do not know them personally well enough yet and especially if you went out for a drink at night. If you went for a day time coffee and it still light and you’re driving then you could.To be honest use and trust your gut, choose good judgement and most of all be safe. I hope this advice help you all and I wish you all, all the luck in the world with your dating. I hope you find “The One”.

Thanks for reading

Love & Good Sex To All

Pam Behind The Diamond 💎 

Your vibe attracts your tribe, nah if you’re vibed you’re subscribed 👌🏼

Pam Behind The Diamond, 2019

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