Here we are back again for part two are you excited? Cause I sure am because this is going to be the good part, the positive part where I really go into the detail of what is going on in my head. So now that I have told you roughly what happened, I need to admit that there was an old Pam & now there is a new Pam. New Pam aka me doesn’t remember a lot about old Pam I have memories yeah & I know things but stuff I did while depressed I don’t really have a recollection of, or maybe I’m just not thinking about it. I don’t know but I just am not that bothered about it all. I’m not over thinking like I would of before. I am just in a better head space. I am much better balanced & more in tune with what I want & need from myself, It might sound bloody balistic to say that. That there was two versions of myself but that is literally how it feels. There was a Pam that was down, low, torn into a million pieces & brow beaten, now there is a positive & happy Pam that actually wants to live life & move forward with her life, not holding onto any suffering or upset that has happened. I have let go of all the hurt that has happened in my life, just like frozen told me to do LOL!! But seriously I have let go of everything that was holding me back in life & keeping me in my comfort zone, stopping me from succeeding in life. It is an amazing feeling to have let go of things that I have been holding onto for 20 odd years. I mean imagine holding onto something that has hurt you for that long… It’s hard work.
On Halloween I went to see a life coach, this is how much my life has changed. I went into the city centre on my own (HUGE deal for me, I never go anywhere on my own & haven’t done in like 7 years. Big step for me). Met the life coach & it was so inspiring. He got me on a whole new level. The fact he didn’t have any emotional connection to me really appealed to me because he didn’t have to believe in me if he didn’t want to, but he did. He said to me I could be one of the “greats”. I felt so humbled to hear that. I never thought I could be a great anything. So to hear I could be one in my new chosen career choice was amazing. I realise I haven’t said what my career choice is yet, well I suppose I’ll tell you. I thought long & hard about this. I put all my life experience together, mixed in my new attitude & my passion for helping people & decided that I would like to be…. a motivational/inspirational speaker or life coach. One or the other would be great or a mixture of both would be epic. I will still be selling make up & blogging & doing all my other things but my big goals are definitely to aim for that type of career choice. Anyway, the life coach was amazing we spoke for nearly two hours. I could of talked to him all day. he was so easy going & confident at the same time. He put me at ease but brought me to attention with his words at the same time. It was just EPIC!!! I left there feeling like I could take on the world. I still feel like I can.
The next steps are to keep going pretty much. I’m going to start scheduling everything & working my way around things to get a better routine. It takes 66 days to create a new habit & I bought a brand new goal diary so thanks to that & my new attitude I know I can do this & create a better future for myself & everyone around me. I am finally looking forward to the future & even if it rains sometimes, I’ll just look for the rainbows, when it’s dark, I’ll look for the stars, when it’s stormy, I’ll cuddle up indoor & listen to the rain (come on who doesn’t enjoy that?). Things are going to be okay & for once in my life I firmly believe that. I can handle anything that comes my way & I know I will be okay.
Thank you so much for reading this. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. I want to let you all know that I am planning to make this blog about positivity along with my lifestyle. If anyone has anything they would like to know about or ideas they would like me to write about please contact me on social media. Have a great day everyone!! Much love & positive vibes xoxo