Hi there it’s been a while, I’ve not been well so been keeping a low profile on everything. But I’m back to it now. So the reason for this post. While I wasn’t well I couldn’t concentrate on anything my mind was literally a cluster fuck. All I had was my thoughts, & for someone like me that is a very dangerous game. With these thoughts came negative thinking which always spirals.
I ended up feeling sorry for myself & also bullying myself at the same time.I was thinking about what I could be if it wasn’t for my circumstances. Saying I’m a failure to myself, telling myself I wasn’t worthy, then feeling bad for myself. I wasn’t being rational or logical. I was just getting swept up in this downhill hurricane. I stopped posting on social media, just cut everything out. Most of my reasons for getting up were gone.This all happened within a few days that’s how quickly depression can grab a hold. Speaks volumes does it not?
Yesterday all I did was think about what I could be in life & feeling bad for myself that I wasn’t doing it all. That I’m not there yet & I’m gonna be 30 with nothing to show for it. Basically being ungrateful for all the things that I do have in this life. To be honest I think this has been coming on for a while but I was keeping it at bay then when I stopped everything it just came flooding through & there wasn’t much I could do about it. But here’s the thing…. I’ve realized that it’s happening before it gets out of hand. Now it’s a case of do I pick myself up & rub myself down & get on with shit or do I take the easy way out & let myself just become depressed & not deal with anything.
- Now me being the person I am, I never turn down a challenge. I am ready to get myself back to the way I was being upbeat & excited & all that positive goof stuff. Today I’ve started posting on social media again & that’s going to continue for the foreseeable future unless something unexpected happens. I want to get myself back to me & being grateful for what I do have like Brian, the kids, a roof over my head & food in my belly. That’s more than what some people have. You need to see the good in every day & take a moment to appreciate what you have. The success to a healthy mind is to have a routine each day. My routine is everything to me & all because it changed I started to feel depressed, that is how important routine is in life. Balanced life, Healthy mind. You need to fit a bit of everything into your routine from having fun to work to bedtime. You might think I’m nuts saying bedtime but honestly going to bed within the same hour each night & getting up within the same hour each morning will do you loads of good & help you to sleep better. Everything needs routine in it to get going & stay ahead of the curve. Yes you might think well I don’t have that much going on in my life. That’s fine just write down things like –
- when/what you eat.
- what time go you get up/go to bed at.
- chill time.
- how long you are gonna sleep for
- maybe a nap time
- social media surfing
All of these things are so important to get into a routine with. It will honestly change your life. Do it & find out how it works out & please let me know through one of my social media profiles from the buttons above.
So finally I just want to say that step one is not getting help but realising that you need help & are willing to find it. I have decided to try work on this on my own but if it doesn’t calm down within the next week I’m gonna go seek help, that’s not an issue for me. I know myself well enough to try & use the techniques I’ve learnt throughout the years in therapy if it comes to the point that I run out of ideas then I know it’s time to get help. For now I am figuring things out a day at a time & trying to be as positive as possible. Positive thinking keeps you from sinking. Until next time xoxo